Movement-

 I finally figured out that I can focus on about one thing at a time.  Really mind blowing, I know.  (Actually there’s a ton of research out there on how unhelpful multi-tasking actually is.) And so, for the past few years, I have been choosing one word.  One word for learning about, discovering, practicing, and focusing on. 

This year my word was “movement”. I mainly chose this word because it summed up the next step in my health journey.

Years before, I focused on sleep, gut, this year…movement, you can see the theme here.  I would say I was prayerful as I chose these words, yes.  I would say that this practice of choosing only ONE word and focusing on it for 12 months is for sure a sign of me really giving-it-a-go submitting to God’s creative design of me as a creature and not a limitless goddess.  One is enough. Plenty.  

As I reflect back on this year and how having this word worked out, I cannot overstate how  significant it was for me.  

A few ways I experienced movement…. 

*I did figure out how to move my body/exercise on a regular basis in a way that works for me!  And I’m still working at adapting that for travel and changing seasons.  That’s a win!

*My quarterly bloodwork all moved in the right direction and I believe it is 100% thanks to exercise.  Can you believe it!  It’s actually true, exercise is one of the most basic and most important things you can do for good health! 

*I began moving out /leaving some world I can’t really even wrap words around yet.  I just know I was compelled to keep my nose to the grindstone managing the worlds, emotions, irresponsibilities of others.  I did this so that I might continue to have a safe place to belong.  Not a big surprise here given my story, but as I began paying more attention to this I decided I wanted to participate in relationships out of freedom and love not obligation or duress.  I don’t have to negotiate for safety or belonging in relationships.  #Jesus.  I hope to continue to learn more about this freedom!

*I hope I helped create movement and momentum for people I love and a mission I love as I moved out of my staff role at Crosspoint.

*I kept the laundry moving!  Lol!  A million loads between 3 kids and 1 Airbnb!  

*I felt a movement, a permission, within myself that “skirted” around a lot of conflicts, wrongs, and problems that were not my responsibility or just not what I actually WANT to spend my energy on; instead of a constant motion of moving against the world and every problem in it.  

A few observations or take-aways so far….

*I noticed that my movement is often compulsive not intentional and I want to continue to learn to move with intention and integrity (strength).

*I am convinced that constant movement does not support a relationally rich community.

*People usually move or change out of pain or avoidance, including me. What does it mean to choose change out of love or vision?  I’m staying with this question.  

*Things start out stiff and blurry, but keep moving and you will find more ease and more clarity. 

*When you make movement some people will cheer you on and be curious other people will just act as though nothing is happening.  That’s ok.  But those who can’t see how brave you are probably aren’t your people.  

*Movement will always create stress, it can’t not.  That’s not always a bad thing! 

*Moving forward is different than going around and around and around.  

*Moving, and in turn, causing everyone else to move within the relational web we exist in, is really scary and painful.  Plenty of hurt to go around.  Stay soft and agile, don’t let resentment harden your heart. 

*I enjoy making big movements (Big waves!  Nobody is surprised by this) but staying faithful to the big and small movements is required for relational integrity and health. 

God met me in this word.  He met me this year and gave me the faith and courage I needed to take some major risks and follow him into some new and strange places.  I made my way, clumsy and ackward.  Dark days filled with tears and confusion would open up to bright new hopes and wide open spaces. Then the sadness.  Then the wide world of new possibilities.  On and on.  It’s been a beautiful journey.  I have no idea where I’m going!  Lol!  The question of where are we headed is one I find myself asking a lot and longing for clarity on.   Oh well.  We will get there.  

Commercial for Doulas!

I know, I know I haven't used this blog like I thought I would!  At least I haven't yet!

THIS is a commercial!  I recently asked many of my clients to consider writing out their birth stories to share on this blog, if they were interested.  And, I asked them, if they were willing and able to provide a short reference for me.  When I am just getting to know expecting mommas, it's helpful for them to have access to some of the stories of others that I've worked with.  You understand!

Two things.

I hope these short stories and words of testimony will help you understand what the work of a doula is, if you are wondering!  I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to walk alongside and care for women and families in this vulnerable, viseral, glorious time of childbirth!

I hope that if you are expecting, you will take the time and space to really consider what your hopes are for your birth experience.  Be BRAVE!  Reach out and gather the support team you need for this very important part of your journey into motherhood!

I give you Brooke Ervin.

Having a doula was amazing! She was truly the perfect teammate to our birth.  Sally was the perfect combination of a knowledgeable, serene, and clear voice. She answered our questions leading up to the birth, and made my husband and I both feel completely supported during it. Sally walked my husband through how to support me over the phone, even while she was en route to us. He says she helped him know how to help and what to do when he previously felt helpless. Once she arrived, Sally had a gentle, calming presence. 

Sally was able to speak gentle instruction and confidence to me through the contractions, keeping me on track when I feared labor was stalling and I wouldn't be able to make it. I had labored at home from about 6 pm until around 5 am. We went to the hospital when contractions were lasting a minute and 2 minutes apart, only to find out I was dilated to a 1. I was disappointed and felt I wouldn't be able to keep up labor for the hours I thought it would take. Sally's perfect response was that I just had to deal with this contraction. In that moment it was exactly what I needed to hear. About 2 and a half intense hours later, we were prepping for delivery!

She was informed in the delivery room, able to help me answer questions that I didn't know the answer to because she knew me, and how I wanted our birth to go. She explained things if I didn't understand, and allowed me to make informed decisions. The nurses seemed to step back and let us "do our thing" for the most part until time for delivery, and I'm certain that is due to the fact that Sally was there.

A Horse...

Where in the world did this whacky name come from?  A Horse In the Wind by the Sea... You can be sure, it is packed with deep meaning!       

My first birth experience was like that of many first time moms.  My view of birth was that it was a "natural" process, after all my mom had delivered four of my siblings at home... but in the hustle and bustle of life, I did not take time to adequately prepare for the birth of our first baby girl.  I felt bullied by a fair amount of fear and cultural norms. When it was all said and done, whether or not I had prepared may or may not have impacted the outcome.  Violet Dawn was born at 38 weeks via c-section. (Read more about that birth here)  She was breech and would not turn.  We did try to version proceedure.  It I had to do it over again, I would not have done the version and I would not have delievered at 38 weeks.  Alas... it cannot be redone and our Violet turned out just fine!
  
   As a side note, my c-section experience was just fine.  Nothing weird or out of the ordinary happened.  I did see my guts in the reflection of the big bright lights... that was weird.  I did feel afraid to hold my baby lying flat out on the table and totally numb. The recovery was fine for me.  I didn't really experience any post partum depression stuff.  We did have a hard time nursing, but eventually got it figured out!  

Violet Dawn Roth born January 30, 2009!

  15 months later, when I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, I was determined to do things differently.  Luckily, my bud and mom friend was a birth doula!  Jackie Priest showed me the well worn path of choosing a supportive provider, being part of the birth education community, and partnering with a doula!  

One fairly common tool for natural childbirth or really anything physically hard is visualization.  One of the most powerful parts of my preparation for my second birth was my visualization of a race horse.  See, I lived only blocks from ChurchHill Downs, and I had been a handful of times to watch the horses run.  Oh... they are so beautiful.  I get emotional just thinking about how magnificent those horses are running... every muscle exploding, shiny coats, and you just knew that they were made for this... They were free, they were powerful, so strong.  And that... was precisely what I wanted to experience.  And, I did! It was a total thrill!  I loved it!  And, I love the privilege of being a part of the birth stories of other amazingly strong and beautiful women!

Support, Support, Support!!!

A woman in childbirth needs to feel safe.  Obviously, physically safe. Which is why she should choose a birth location that makes her feel safe.  There are so many options!  We chose to deliver at Clark Memorial with Certified Nurse Midwives.  The environment there is accommodating for a natural delivery, so I was in a place that I felt comfortable and also offered medical care should it become necessary.  This what we felt most safe with.  Pictured below is the midwife who delievered Miss Laurel, Alison Reid.

 Choosing folks to be with you and around you who feel safe to you relationally and emotionally is also important.

This delivery, we chose to have one of our most precious friends with us, Joan Coleman.  She is so clearly a friend who God gifted us with for so many different reasons.  She has been our family away from family.  Home away from home.  She's like a sister, a friend, a mom.  She loves my children and has supported us through the ups and downs of life as we have been busy growing our little family.  We were so blessed to have her at this birth.  Her nuturing, maternal presence was just what we needed.

We also invited our friend Lacie Eubank to be with us! Though I can't put my finger on why, something that was very important to me this go round was that I wanted to record this pregnancy and birth journey through photographs.  So, one of my closest and sweetest friends, Lacie, generously took maternity pictures with me early in my third trimester and then she came to the birth as well!  It went so fast, she made it just in time to catch all the action! We have been so extremely blessed having the photos documenting Laurel's delivery and having Lacie at the birth was a special part too! You wont' see a picture of her, because she's the one behind the camera!

Last and certainly, CERTAINLY not least!!!!  My doula!  Jackie Priest!  Clif and I always say that we would never deliver a baby without a doula.  Jackie was my inspiration into the birth world, she's one of my dearests friends, and having her at my birth is... well... I just couldn't do it without her.  She knows where I'm at, what I'll be needing next, when she speaks I can get a hold of myself, when she touches me I calm down.



When you are planning your birth think about what and who makes you feel relaxed and safe!  And consider having them be a part of your special day!

A Horse in the Wind by the... WHAT IS THIS!

THIS, is my new blog to write all things birthy!  In my work as a doula there is so much opportunity to share knowledge and encouragement about the journey of pregnancy and birth and motherhood!  So... that is what this blog is about!

As for the crazy name!  I will get to that later!  It will, hands down, require it's own post.  Coming soon!

Today I'd like to share the posts recording the birth journey that brought Miss Laurel Lynn Grace to us. And I'm sharing this to HIGHLIGHT the importance of having a support team around you for your birth.  Clif and I have been privileged to have Andrew Coverdale, a dear brother and friend, present at all our births.  This year he was joined by his amazing bride to be and our close friend, Milli Jane! He has kept our friends and family up to date through our blog!  And now, we have the beautiful words and script to look back and remember the special time!

You can start with this link and follow Andrew's post to the birth of the babe!
http://sallyroth.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-new-baby-and-faithful-god.html