I finally figured out that I can focus on about one thing at a time. Really mind blowing, I know. (Actually there’s a ton of research out there on how unhelpful multi-tasking actually is.) And so, for the past few years, I have been choosing one word. One word for learning about, discovering, practicing, and focusing on.
This year my word was “movement”. I mainly chose this word because it summed up the next step in my health journey.
As I reflect back on this year and how having this word worked out, I cannot overstate how significant it was for me.
A few ways I experienced movement….
*I did figure out how to move my body/exercise on a regular basis in a way that works for me! And I’m still working at adapting that for travel and changing seasons. That’s a win!
*My quarterly bloodwork all moved in the right direction and I believe it is 100% thanks to exercise. Can you believe it! It’s actually true, exercise is one of the most basic and most important things you can do for good health!
*I began moving out /leaving some world I can’t really even wrap words around yet. I just know I was compelled to keep my nose to the grindstone managing the worlds, emotions, irresponsibilities of others. I did this so that I might continue to have a safe place to belong. Not a big surprise here given my story, but as I began paying more attention to this I decided I wanted to participate in relationships out of freedom and love not obligation or duress. I don’t have to negotiate for safety or belonging in relationships. #Jesus. I hope to continue to learn more about this freedom!
*I hope I helped create movement and momentum for people I love and a mission I love as I moved out of my staff role at Crosspoint.
*I kept the laundry moving! Lol! A million loads between 3 kids and 1 Airbnb!
*I felt a movement, a permission, within myself that “skirted” around a lot of conflicts, wrongs, and problems that were not my responsibility or just not what I actually WANT to spend my energy on; instead of a constant motion of moving against the world and every problem in it.
A few observations or take-aways so far….
*I noticed that my movement is often compulsive not intentional and I want to continue to learn to move with intention and integrity (strength).
*I am convinced that constant movement does not support a relationally rich community.
*People usually move or change out of pain or avoidance, including me. What does it mean to choose change out of love or vision? I’m staying with this question.
*Things start out stiff and blurry, but keep moving and you will find more ease and more clarity.
*When you make movement some people will cheer you on and be curious other people will just act as though nothing is happening. That’s ok. But those who can’t see how brave you are probably aren’t your people.
*Movement will always create stress, it can’t not. That’s not always a bad thing!
*Moving forward is different than going around and around and around.
*Moving, and in turn, causing everyone else to move within the relational web we exist in, is really scary and painful. Plenty of hurt to go around. Stay soft and agile, don’t let resentment harden your heart.
*I enjoy making big movements (Big waves! Nobody is surprised by this) but staying faithful to the big and small movements is required for relational integrity and health.
God met me in this word. He met me this year and gave me the faith and courage I needed to take some major risks and follow him into some new and strange places. I made my way, clumsy and ackward. Dark days filled with tears and confusion would open up to bright new hopes and wide open spaces. Then the sadness. Then the wide world of new possibilities. On and on. It’s been a beautiful journey. I have no idea where I’m going! Lol! The question of where are we headed is one I find myself asking a lot and longing for clarity on. Oh well. We will get there.
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